


A Silent Soliloquy

by Neemochan



Series: The Life (and Death) of Tenny Brayboy, Professional Ghost Friend [1]
Category: New World Magischola (Live-Action Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2020-03-08 19:10:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18900856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neemochan/pseuds/Neemochan
Summary: The first three days of Tenny Brayboy's second year at NWM were highly eventful: He'd been threatened by a dark entity, amassed a group of friends calling themselves Tenny's Ghost Army, gotten kissed by the girl he likes...and killed.And then brought back.None of it had truly sunk in until now, lying awake in his dark dorm room.





	A Silent Soliloquy

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written as a way to process my own emotions following the larp and written fairly quickly. A little unrefined, but hopefully still a good read :)

The silence is deafening. 

For as long as he can remember, Tenny always had whispers running through the back of his mind. He had hated it when he was a kid, the continual commentary of spirits. He had been scared of ghosts, particularly the angry ones, the screaming ones, the uncontrollably sobbing ones. He wanted nothing to do with them.

But then he had met Cassa, his best friend at Magnolia Sun. And somehow she was the first to suggest that maybe he should help those ghosts instead of trying to hide from them.

He started to embrace the whispers, of course. He’d grown accustomed to them, even liked them and found comfort in them since primaschola. Tenny had even found a ghost companion, Margaret (or rather, she had found him), who’s whispers broke through all the others with words of encouragement, advice, and love. 

But now it is quiet. So quiet it makes his ears ring. He wants to scream.

Tenny stares up at the ceiling, motionless under his covers. The lights are out, his roommates are sleeping. The school has been saved, the ball was over, and the after party had ended. 

The distractions were gone. Now he has to think about it. 

His mind tries to retrace the events of the past couple days. 

There were the threats, the letters plastered all over the classrooms from the astral being that wanted him dead.  _ Tennyson Brayboy needs to stop interfering in the affairs of ghosts, _ the letters all read,  _ unless he wants to become one. _

Then there were the curses from that same being, that Nightmare, one of which caused Aubrey to try and strangle him in the middle of Mind Magic…

That thing had been out for Tenny – and that was fine. But when other classmates, like Aubrey, started getting pulled into it? That’s when he knew he had to do something. He didn’t care if he got hurt. But he did care if others did.

And, yes, lying awake in his bed, he admits that summoning this Nightmare and trying to confront it head on was…reckless. Stupid. 

He had known how susceptible to attack he was, especially from an astral being. His mind wards were notoriously weak. That was how he’d gotten into this whole mess to begin with – weak mental wards that allowed all sorts of ghosts and spirits to slip in and out of his mind as they pleased. 

But he hadn’t known what else to do. The threats, the head pain, the nightmares, the curses placed on other students because of him…it was just going to get worse. And it was Tenny’s responsibility to stop it.

_ Tiny Brayboy… _ The Nightmare’s hissing echoes through his memory. Tenny shivers, even though it’s hot, even though he’s under his blanket.  _ Would you rather be here, or there? _

Here or the astral? Tenny is embarrassed that, at the time, he hadn’t had an answer. The question caught him, like he’d been hooked in the gut. 

Before the ritual, before the Nightmare appeared, Tenny’s housemate, Devin, had given him a mantra:  _ My mind is a fortress and it is impenetrable. _ Tenny had begun to repeat it as the Nightmare circled him, desperate to protect his mind. But the Nightmare just let out a burst of icy laughter that had sliced straight through him. It made him feel pathetic. 

_ I’m already inside _ …

After that was a blur. A searing pain in his head. A dull pain in his chest. He was on the ground. 

And then he started sinking. His body didn’t respond to anything he told it to do. He felt like he was being slowly pulled away. 

He could hear. He could hear the shouts and spells as his friends fought against the Nightmare. And he could hear…

Heather.

Tenny’s stomach sours as he remembers.

He’d been standing on the courtyard staircase, giving everyone instructions as they prepared to summon the Nightmare.

_ Are you sure about this? _ She had asked, standing under the stairs, brows knit together in worry.

He was. Because he had to do something. Heather, of all people, should have understood.

She suddenly reached up, pulled Tenny down by the lanyard, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  _ Promise me you won’t leave. _

And he’d been flabbergasted. He’d been flustered. His brain short-circuited.

Heather had  _ kissed _ him.

He tried to say words, but they only came out as fractured sounds.

_ Don’t—  _ Heather stopped him.  _ Don’t say anything unless you can promise. _

Thinking back now, Tenny’s glad he couldn’t force out any words.

Because ten minutes later he was dead.

He was losing his grip on his body and he could hear Heather crying, sobbing.  _ Don’t leave me, you’re my best friend. _ There were students calling for a healer, but Heather cried harder.  _ People are hurt, but I can’t leave you _ .

And Tenny was trying so hard to tell her he was there. He could hear her. She could go help the others. But his mouth wouldn’t move and his hands wouldn’t move and his eyes wouldn’t open.

He hadn’t wanted to leave her. 

But he did.

Tenny rolls over in his bed. He thinks he might be sick. 

Grief was an old friend. He’d lost his best friend, Cassa, during their junior year of primaschola. And he’d searched for her countless times in the astral, but could never find her. He knew what it was to have grief settle in his gut, clawing and stabbing relentlessly. He knew what it was to lose someone you love.

And he’d done that to Heather. Almost purposely. Because how stupid was he to have thought he could escape an encounter with something as powerful as the Nightmare unscathed?

Guilt twists his stomach into a thick, tight knot. He can’t imagine what Heather went through while he was gone. He can’t imagine what she went through when she learned he  _ came back _ . Tenny should’ve been more sensitive to that. It hadn’t felt like he was dead – really, it was just a big hazy gap in his memory and then suddenly he was back. Only now is he realizing the actual weight of the whole thing. The emotional impact. 

Tenny has no idea where to begin to apologize to Heather for all this. He’ll probably be apologizing for it the rest of his life.

Tenny sits up in bed, adjusts his pillow, then lays back on it again. He repeats the process a second time. Then a third time. And then he decides that maybe he just wasn’t meant to be comfortable.

The astral plane had always presented itself to him as a place full of fog. That’s most of what Tenny could remember during the time he was…dead. Fog. He couldn’t remember anything else. But maybe those memories will appear with time. Maybe he isn’t meant to know them yet.

He did remember a pull, however. A pull and the encouraging voices of Margaret, of Naomi, of Quinn, of Nova, of Kea, of Bastille, of his friends. He had reached for them, through the fog. It was hard to know where he was going. But eventually he saw Margaret. And she smiled at him, so warmly, so fondly, so welcoming. She had reached out her hand to him. He had reached out to take it.

And suddenly he was on the pavement. His head spinning and throbbing. He lifted his head to see he was in the middle of a ritual circle, surrounded by friends. They were all smiling in relief. He smiled back. Everyone dissolved into excited chatter.

But something was wrong.

Something was off.

Tenny held up a hand, eyes going wide.  _ Wait. Stop.  _

It was quiet. Unbearably quiet. 

_...I can’t hear anything. _ Tenny’s throat grew tight. His mind felt hollow. 

There were no screams. There were no laughs. There were no cries, no shouts, no whispers, no voices. Just endless, unsettling silence.

Tenny bolted up.  _ Margaret? _

She had to answer. She  _ needed _ to answer. She always answered. She was always there--

He called out for her, again and again. But he never heard her answer.

Only silence.

Tenny pulled in a shallow breath. 

_ The circle, maybe it’s the circle! _ His friends cried, quickly dismantling the wards and the ritual circle in hopes it would help.

He scrambled out of the center, taking several paces away from the circle, and paused.  _ Margaret? _ He whispered, voice thick. Tears pricked at his eyes.

But the quiet persisted.

He drew in a shuddering breath, the air hitching in his chest. He turned back to his friends. His face contorted and he felt tears bubble over and down his cheeks.  _ I can’t hear them _ .  _ I… _ His voice wavered. Then a sob finally broke its way through.  _ It’s so quiet...How do you live like this? _

Naomi rushed forward to him.

Tenny couldn’t hold it back anymore. He was shaking, heaving sharp breaths, sobbing. 

_ At least they can’t hurt you anymore _ , someone said.

Tenny shook his head violently. That wasn’t the point. That didn’t matter. This was how he helped people. This was what he did. This was what he’d always done. And now…?

What was he supposed to do?

Naomi scooped him into an embrace. Hot tears fell from his face onto her shoulder. He still couldn’t stop.

_ Maybe it’s temporary. Maybe it’ll come back. _

Maybe. But Tenny knew that wasn’t true. The astral was giving him the cold shoulder. It was locking him out.

Somehow Tenny found himself pressed against Quinn’s shoulder, raining tears on him too.

They all took turns telling Tenny the things Margaret had done while he was gone, trying to cheer him up. She seemed to leave an impression. It made Tenny smile. Margaret  _ was _ wonderful. He was glad his friends had been able to meet her.

He wished he could talk to her about it. Ask her impressions of Kea, ask if Quinn flirted with her, ask how she managed to take astromancy classes when she was a healer. Did she make any potions in the alchemy lab? Did she stop and visit Dan Obeah? He hoped she did. He hoped she did some things for herself while she had the opportunity.

Tenny would never know, though.

Leo, apparently the prince of Atlantis now, had given Tenny a tarot reading before all this. There were three cards: The Emperor, The Sun, and The Empress. A masculine presence and a feminine presence in harmony.

Tenny had found Leo a couple hours before the ball, idly shuffling cards. He asked for another reading. Again, three cards: The Emperor, Temperance, and Death. He’d returned to himself, a masculine presence, while experiencing a life change he wouldn’t be happy with. The cards were right about that.

Then Leo flipped the deck. And sitting on the bottom, now staring up at them, was The Empress.

The feminine presence.

Margaret.

_ Your friend is still talking to you _ , Leo told him softly.

Tenny stared at the card. He swallowed hard. He felt the tears pooling in his eyes again. He quickly swept them away with his sleeve and nodded in appreciation.

Pulling the covers around him tighter, Tenny takes a deep breath. 

What is he going to do? He feels like a piece of him has been ripped away, leaving a gaping hole. He’s always talked to ghosts, even when he was scared of them. He’s never felt so alone as he does right now, under his covers, in the dark of his dorm room. It’s never been so quiet. 

He wishes Margaret were here. She would know what to do. She  _ always _ knew what to do.

_ Your friend is still talking to you _ .

...Maybe she was still listening, too.

Tenny closes his eyes. He exhales. Opens his eyes again.

“I took Heather to the ball.” He whispers into the silence. “I thought you might be proud of me for that. I mean, how long did it take me to ask her, right?”

Margaret had always goaded him to do it sooner.

“I’m not sure what you did, but…” Tenny frowns. “I don’t think she likes you much. She’s kind of stubborn, though. And so are you. You were probably just trying to help, though, right?”

There is no response from the silence. But he keeps talking.

“Everyone liked the suit you helped me pick out. I got a lot of compliments on my tie. I’m trying to convince Heather she should make them for a line.” Tenny laughs softly. “I don’t know if she will, but, I think it’d be pretty cool. You’d probably find it amusing, too.”

His smile dips and his face turns serious. “Margaret?” He murmurs. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.”

Tenny stares at the ceiling. As if a whisper of advice will float through his head at any moment. It doesn’t, and he closes his eyes.

“I wish you were here.” It’s so quiet, so inaudible, he’s not even sure he said it out loud.

He rolls over. He should probably sleep. It’s been a long night. A long couple days. And it will probably be a long semester.

But something hits the floor.

He sits up, squinting into the dark. It’s his nametag. It must’ve fallen off his desk. Tenny kicks his legs over the side of his bed and stands, leaning down to pick it up. He could probably throw it away now. They only needed to wear them the first couple days of the semester, so it was easy for first years to know who they were.

_ Tenny Brayboy, Maison DuBois, Second Year Astromancer.  _ Tenny lifts the card off the floor. He moves to toss it in the trash bin, but stops. There is something on the back side.

He turns the card in his hands. There, written in ink, in cursive handwriting is a makeshift nametag:  _ Margaret, Tenny’s Friend, Just Visiting! _

Tenny stares at it for a long moment. Then he smiles, breathes a laugh, and sniffles. He glances up at the ceiling.

“Let’s get some rest.” He says. He places the card on his desk and slips back into bed.

 


End file.
